![]() People hear words differently and to have a hearable message you need content that connects with them on a cognitive and emotional level. Consider in advance your core message.Create space for the other person to feel fully heard listen, get comfortable with silence and don’t talk over the other person. ![]() It’s essential to be centred, present and calm. Where possible, have the conversation face to face recognising the importance of body language in communication, and a time when neither you (nor your colleague) are rushing or anxious.Instead, be curious and, where relevant, inquire and clarify so you can be clear on what’s said Abandon any assumptions you hold about the other person’s intent.Put yourself in the other person’s position and consider how you want to be treated.Strive to ensure the person knows you value them.Enter the conversation with good intent, a genuine interest in the other person and a desire to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome.Acknowledge yourself and that feeling uncomfortable is ok.In getting ready for the conversation, keep true to your principles. These are the moments when you are called to show up, be brave and walk into the arena despite your fears.īefore stepping into the arena, it can help to consider your approach. When you make the first move, reach out and initiate the conversation it puts you in a far better position to navigate how it will proceed.ĭr Brenè Brown in her book Dare to Lead refers to these conversations and actions as your arena moments. Consequently, each time we have a challenging conversation, we learn and grow from the experience. It broadens our perspective and reminds us not to be closed to other people’s opinions. It’s easy to make assumptions about a person’s intent, particularly in an organisational context and if your relationship with the person is challenging. We can wrongly infer a harmful intent, which impacts how we react to their opinions and ideas. Having a healthy working relationship with a work colleague doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them. It does, however, require you to take the time to see things from their perspective. ![]() How we talk, when we talk, and how much we talk to each other matters.īy having an open conversation, being transparent with the other person about the value you place on the relationship, and understanding their intent and background, you open the path to building a more stable and healthier relationship. Research by Jian Guowei (Cleveland State University) and Dalisay Francis (University of Hawaii) – Conversation at Work: The effects of leader-member conversational quality – found that the quality of the conversation between leaders and team members had a significant impact on employee’s organisational commitment. In these situations, by avoiding the conversation, the opportunity to deepen and strengthen relationships is missed.Ĭonversations are at the root of human connection. Instead, because the work colleagues felt awkward and unsure about the person’s emotional state and likely response, they walked away from reaching out. Their uncomfortableness and concern about saying the wrong thing meant they did nothing – leaving the person feeling hurt, confused and isolated. It’s unlikely that this was their colleagues’ intent. There are also times when you don’t say what needs to be said because you’re putting your feelings first. When someone around us – be it a work colleague or friend – experiences something unexpectedly sad, we often don’t know how to react. They may have been made redundant, lost a loved one or experienced a troublesome circumstance.įor example, recently, a former work colleague was made redundant. What surprised them and made the situation harder was the reaction of their work colleagues. They simply stopped speaking with them, making the person feel like they didn’t matter. In the first category, shying away from such conversations may appear on the surface to be the easy option, but experience shows that avoidance doesn’t work. It merely sends the problem underground to fester and then blow up, more significant and more troublesome than if you’d stepped in earlier. There are two main reasons for avoiding conversations, you: However, stepping into them is an essential ingredient for effective leadership and a hallmark of a successful career. They’re the conversation you put off until the last minute, anticipate with dread, and worry about. Uncomfortable conversations come in all shapes and sizes and for a variety of reasons. Getting comfortable with uncomfortable is essential for a fulfilled life. ![]()
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